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From: dmark.perkins
Category: Fish Report
Date: 05/14/02
Time: 09:10 PM
For the first time ever, we got skunked when it came to fall reservations. All I can figure is, it's due to this here website attractin' folks that otherwise wouldn't try the place. So here's the real deal for you if you've never been over but are thinking of goin': The fish were there last week, or oughta be in any time. The bugs will carry your children off so you have to keep 'em tethered to your trailer hitch, and if you get to drinkin' and forget they're there when they doze off because of the stiflin' heat, you'll drag 'em down to a nub before you come to your senses and then DSS will jump in the middle of your back and you are done for. The bait fish are hardly ever there and that ol' stuff they sell is like using a piece of shoe. If you like skates and little ol' sharks, you'll be a happy dude. The cabins have mice and snakes in 'em, but they make better bait if you can grab 'em. Water goes out when you want a shower and you have to poop in the waves. The ice is airy and won't last half a day. You don't need it anyway. The sand has oil from passing tankers and your wife will kill you for messing everything up and you didn't even notice it. So, might be better off to stick with Hatteras, where you can duck into a watering hole when the wind starts to blow, which it will, and not from any consistent direction. Your lines are gonna get all tangled. The generators are gonna keep you from sleeping. people shoot fireworks for no reason. The turtles will crawl into your bunk and take off toes before you know it. They only have so much toliet paper to go around. All this stuff about catching fish is a bunch of lies. Be smart! Stay away! Go to a place you have half a chance for uccess! THIS AIN'T IT! TRY HATTERAS!